karmic dissonance : inferior glide

back yard gold

In the Western North Carolina mountains there has been a disagreement with calendar and trees lately. As time marched on, the mountains stayed stubbornly green until a few days ago, when leaves finally turned to gold and crimson. It is autumn; therefore it follows that colors will change in early October. This year that would be

wrong
a seasonal dissonance

(global warming?)

Other points of disharmony—less sweet and more jarring to me personally—are everywhere. The most obvious is #45 who presents himself one way and acts in another. Bluntly put, he lies to the point of making many of us gaslight-crazy.

More close to home are examples that led me to an epiphany and a namaste of gratitude. One is a teacher, who specializes in anatomy; who did a study on yoga and injuries; and who said, on the first day of a workshop, that he didn't want to change anyone's practice. It would follow that I (with recent shoulder surgery) might therefore, trust his adjustments and feedback and disregard my newly found caution with unknown (to me) teachers. I would be

wrong

a cognitive dissonance

A friend wrote a book on spiritual friendships. Therefore it followed (to me) that she would be open to discussing issues of concern to me and between us. Again,

wrong

a cognitive dissonance

Two months post surgery, I expected strong recovery of my Ashtanga practice and progress in chaturangas, jump backs, poses, strength, and stamina. I was

WRONG

cosmic karmic cognitive dissonance

After a very positive check-in with the Duke Sports Medicine team this week, I was given some shoulder exercises for the "inferior glide." As per my usual MO, I figured doing more and faster repetitions of that exercise would improve not just my shoulder but everything! Completely

WRONG

cognitive dissonance
later

EXTREME PAIN

not an iota of
 INFERIOR OR SUPERIOR GLIDE

However, other parts of me did glide.

Realizing the disunities are infinite, I am released from caring and fretting over my own (abbreviated) list of them. Discord is part of life. Maya is dissonance on both common and cosmic levels. And is there any one of us in the common realm—who unconsciously or consciously presents him or herself with total honesty?  (A post on FaceBook today nailed it, suggesting everyone dress themselves for Halloween the way they appear in their FB photos and posts.)

And so I am gliding: if I feel anger toward people and experiences that are incongruent to me, would I not then resent almost everything? Forget that. We are all at different places on the path, doing our best. We are going to meet and exude dissonance until we awaken. Accepting this part of life brings peace.

wrong...

well   

maybe...  

.... not. Because I am so broken hearted about this new shoulder pain, I am tormented by the fear the operation has been nullified, stem cells are quitting, and I'll never get back to the garden (my former Ashtanga practice.) And yet, am I not always in the Garden? Today for a short time on the mat, something in me just gave up trying and moved without any thought of gain, progress, or self-comparison. It was I believe, superior harmonic glide and totally

RIGHT

perfect

miraculous

metta

GRATITUDE

to feel the goal of yoga is finally possible."